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Some mothers may see their daughter-in-law as a rival other mothers have dedicated their lives to their family and expect strong payback in return. Psychologists have called this mothering “excessive,” stating that Italian mothers watch their sons choose another woman, which arouses very complex feelings, including jealousy. Some mothers may see their daughter-in-law as a rival. In fact, the clingy mother phenomenon was seen prominently in Italy through the early 2000s, when a surge in marriage breakups showed strong links to interfering mothers-in-law bearing a high proportion of the blame in divorce reports. Mothers who mollycoddle their sons can affect their relationships and marriages later in life. There’s being attached to your mother, and then there’s remaining reliant on her deep into your adulthood. More commonly, when a man has mommy issues, he’ll go to the extreme to appease his mother. “Momma’s boy” has been a popular insult for years, and there’s a reason for it. They can cause heavy detriment to men too. The children may feel they’re being disloyal to their mother if they don’t appreciate the smothering delivered in the guise of “love” and “affection.” These children can never express their emotions without looking ungrateful and spoiled, so they remain quiet for fear of upsetting their loved one.īut much like daddy issues, mommy issues don’t just hit women. Since this mother often gives boundless praise to her child, the child can be left feeling guilty when the feelings aren’t returned in an equal manner. Sometimes the smothering mother becomes overbearing due to her own neediness. The parent may fear abandonment from their own child, not allowing them to have the independence they acquire naturally in their adulthood and leaving them in a never-ending trap of caregiving. They often share too much with their daughter and look to her for guidance and support. These mothers often become overbearing due to their own neediness. By projecting their own desires and dreams onto their child, smothering mothers often leave their children overly dependent or resentful of their main caregiver.īut this type of mother isn’t always obsessed with her children sometimes, she’s obsessed with herself. The smothering is much like the “pageant mother” we see stereotyped on television or even comedy shows. We see it plastered all over reality television, but despite many of these programs accentuating these types of parents for dramatic effect, there’s truth to the trope. Going to the other extreme, some mothers are just too prominent in their child’s life. When the supportive force is absent from a young age, children are forced to become independent more quickly in a way that’s both unnatural and lonely. In parent-child relationships, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. When we’re left feeling inadequate by the person made to nurture us, it’s natural for these feelings to be projected onto someone else, leaving a person with discontent, doubt, or even trust issues with a loved one.Ībsent mothers make their children feel inadequate.Ī caring relationship with a mother is an essential one experts argue it’s one of the most important, as mothers are the most salient figure in one’s early childhood. Feelings of failure can reveal themselves when we least expect it, becoming prominent or more noticeable with our personal relationships. When this care is unavailable or non-existent, it can often leave us feeling inadequate later on in life.
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Mothers are supposed to nurture and love us in our developmental stages and beyond. Inattentive mothers, the mothers who walk out, the mothers who neglect their children – all leave behind a void, one that ardently and eagerly craves a love we’re owed from birth : a mother’s love. People with unaddressed parental issues often struggle to bond with others later in life, especially romantic partners, where they experience disillusionment, project insecurities, or expect someone to fulfill what their mother failed to do. We must recognize where these issues are present, or we will inevitably suffer more in our lives.
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We often hear the term “daddy issues,” and while those are more common, absent or abusive mothers can also leave behind just as much damage, sometimes even more so. No parent is perfect, but some are far from it, and it’s important we acknowledge this.